Austin! WE MADE IT

Wow, what a fun-filled 3 days of no sleep, driving and Vegas.

I grew as the days progressed and here is what i learned:
1. Robert was correct, it was a tough drive, however, he now owes us dinner.
2. Christian also owes us dinner
3. Texas is too big.
4. Cats CAN get stuck under driver's seats
5. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas (Jackpot your secret is a-ok with me... here is the Swiss bank number you need: 123-14--234u085703-83
6. Scott gets moody; however, he is indeed the best friend one could have.
7. Denny's sucks
8. Cat shit smells REAL bad when stuck in a car.
9. Wives are huggable after not seeing them for a month
10. Closet space in a new house sure looks small when the wife allocates the space for you.

Be kind to others, and drive well!
Mitch - Co-pilot- airline Honda
Scott - Zombie Pilot - airline Honda

SOKO OUT

Scott... Scott... you alright?

I happened to be quite bored sitting as co-pilot, so i nodded off several times. Well, when i had actually been able to keep my head from sleeping, i noticed Scott was shot to hell. He was staring ahead like a zombie looking for brains. I told him to pull over and let me take the reins. The winds were blowing cold sub-artic winds into me as i filled the gas tank.

We hit the road and Scott went unconscious right quick. I focused, turned on the talk radio and laughed with announcer at the foolish callers.

Scott woke up and continued our journey through texas

Amarillo is how far into Texas?

Let me tell you something, texas is BIG.... Too big to drive in for 24 hours straight.

Santa Rosa - Carl Jr. Snack

Santa Rosa, new Mexico, truck stop 3:21AM -

Scott and I stop for some gas and Scott decides that he will partake in a Carl Jrs burger to relive his youth eating the burger. Well, we leave the car and run into the shop because the temperature outside is a mere 38 degrees.

As we enter an empty Carl jrs, a portly woman with no eyebrows, scratch that, painted on eyebrows, was behind the counter. Judging by her girth, there is a new eat what weigh program in lieu of payment. Scott researches the menu and was flummoxed at the new menu offerings. He asked, "What is the difference between the western bacon cheeseburgers?" Scott offered, " is it because one of them uses angus beef?"
The woman looked at him, paused and with certainty says: " they are completely different." She turned towards the menu board to prove her hypotheses..

"That burger", pointing to the lower priced one, "only has barbeque sauce."
"This one", pointing to the 6 dollar angus burger, " comes with barbeque sauce, ketchup mustard and mayonnaise."
"And that one" again pointing to the lower priced one, " comes with onion rings while this one comes with ...." ,her voice trailed off as she noticed that both came with onion rings.

The confusion came when she couldn’t figure out that the fundamental difference was indeed the meat.

As we were waiting for the meal to be delivered, we wandered to a section of seating near the front windows. After about 5 minutes, she spotted us and waved her pudgy arm and said, " you cant section is closed"

We looked around at the completely empty restaurant kinda taken back and thought to ourselves: is it because we are black...

This must be whitey's row....

We moved 6 feet over to the adjacent side of the divide where we could be watched by her.

Scott got his burger and began to dress it. I had a little reaction of bile reach my upper tongue just by looking at Scott and his 650 calorie abortion.

We plutzed and now i have stomach ache from laughing so much.

Hoover "F nature, we have opposable thumbs" Dam

After picking up the kitties, who are basically traumatized into submission, We crossed the man made power of the hoover damn.

Now we are on the toughest part of our trek.

Vegas - 24 hours later

First: Robert, if you are reading this... i thought your bet was a sucker bet, i.e i would take your money. However, your internal knowledge and wisdom of the effects of a Vegas trip has shined through, and the bet is on. It is going to be a real bet, cause we are knackered.

Vegas was, well, Vegas. We had a fantastic dinner at the Wynn. 2 bottles of wine: Amuse Bouche and some other one. I had some quality Scotch Johnny Walker Black - neat and topped of the taste with a Monte Cristo cigar. I juggled one glass of scotch, a goblet of wine and chewed on my cigar. ALL the wait staff and employees of the Wynn were unbelievably service focused and friendly. If and when I do come back with the wife, we are staying at the Wynn.

One bald guy with his Princess of Monaco wife, sat at a baccarat table. He had 50,000 down on a 50/50 bet. He was smiling and not even flinching as the dealer shuffled over his winnings. As his entire winnings got swept up a few minutes later, he casually got up and went to another table. That is Vegas.

As the evening progressed (something we assumed inside of a controlled environment where time has no meaning except when the next dealer comes and goes) we gambled. Scott had his roulette routine, and Jackpot hit the black jack. I was more reserved and stuck to the video poker.

The evening went well… very well. We had a fantastic time till 8:00am after breakfast, when Jackpot laid down and, before he even hit the hotel room floor, was gone. I wasn’t too far behind him. When we awoke, our entire being was soaked with nicotine, somebody could have licked my hand and stuck me on their skin in lieu of a nicotine patch.

Vegas is gluttony… Vegas is excess… Vegas is beautiful and ugly at the same time.

I love Vegas.

Vegas!!!!

After dropping the cats off at the Shining motel for cats in the Concerte business zone of North Las Vegas, Scott and i made our way to the Wynn.. Very nice digs, the bathroom is big, spacious and quality.

The cats are stuck in a cage surround by dogs... they aint liking Vegas.

HERE HERE FOR Opposable THUMBS!

zzyzx and a quick break

Some dumb ass saw a cop and hit his brakes, which in turn, caused us to hit ours. I thought i had bought anti-lock brakes, but i guess i didnt.
If you drive like a bat out of hell (or from under the bridge...) dont. You might, one day, make Scott pee his pants... again

TIDBIT:
And the name Zzyzx? Pronounced "Zeye-zix" with the accent on the first syllable, it was made up by Springer, who claimed that it was the last word in the English language. It (along with Zzyzx Spring, the associated hydrologic feature) was approved as a place name by the United States Board on Geographic Names on 14 Jun 1984:

Stopped for a gas

The cat DID pee on itself. I see that now. It, however, does not make a better person for pointing that out. Just a concerned cat lover. Driving is dull. I had a bag of Doritos. EXTRA nachoy.

8:30am: not much further

8:24am: i feel asleep and i didnt even know it! My head fell back on the chair and i snored. Larkin is sitting on the back window like a queen.

Starting the race

I am setting up this blog through cingular PCcard. It works, a bit slow, but at least i have some interent access on the road.

I think one of the cats pissed on the floor...